Vanishing Act

So I got on the computer this morning only to discover that an aunt of mine had tracked down her eldest brother whom no one has seen for almost 30yrs. I admire his effectiveness at avoiding such a massive family for so long and wonder if in my own way have I been trying to do the same with my own existence...


"Vanishing Act"

Maybe I should disappear
Move off into the crowd
Forget my name
Stare in mirrors
No longer seeing my face

I've always seen it happen
In my dreams and in my play
Blending into the murk
A 3d form depressed
By the ills of his society
Into a two-dimensional mesh
To lie flat against walls
Unnoticed
Forgotten

Maybe I should stop moving
Stand still
In time and space
Collecting the dust
Of the world's rabid movement
Till I am a stone figure once known
Now relegated to perform my duty
As marker between point A to B
Within myself
And the many rooms
I've built in which to store my troubles;
Disappear
Until I am no thing
No one
No where
Forgotten even by my own self...
©2010cchristopherbess

Conundrum

Why do I have a quadrilateral existence?
I'd rather have a spherical one.
It's far more dangerous
Bumping into sharp corners
Than sliding off some contoured obstacle...

Why do they try to fix me?
I'd rather be broken.
Things that are broken
Are intriguing
Because they don't work
The way we want them to;
Whereas things that work
Just go unnoticed
Until they break down...

I really want to get to the point
Where things aren't so linear;
Life in reverse would be far more interesting
Just ride any roller coaster backwards...

Why does my existence have to be so quadrilateral?
In a fate full of polygons
It's better to have more corners
For the ones that love you
To stand in...
©2010cchristopherbess

Linger

I don't want it to linger
I don't want it to bruise
But you point your finger
And in the end we both lose

I don't want you to sing me
Songs that confuse
About how you want me
As I am but with rules

I don't want it to linger
I just want it to end
Let's just get past the drama
Maybe we could be friends

I don't want it to linger
With my heart on the mend
But you touch me softly
And I'm back in your sin

I don't want it to linger
I don't want it to bruise
But love is forever
Even with all that we lose

I don't want it to linger
Without you I'll choose
I don't want you to bring me
Flowers that ruse
Songs sweet from your lips
That seek to abuse
In my fragile state of mind
Thinking you kind
I'm likely to fall
Though I'd lose it all...
©cchristopherbess

Every Thing

Joy
Love
Every thing
Air
Dreams
Never enough
Every thing
Heart
Soul
Supreme
Every thing
Lost
Found
Beyond my dreams
Every thing
Sunrise
Twilight
My night
My
Every thing
To me...
©2010cchristopherbess

Nothin'

Nobody's perfect, but the consistency at which entities attempt to demean and destroy the achievements of others must stop. If not, in the end, we will all have...

"Nothin"

They don't trust
They don't want nothin'
'Cept for me and we
With nothin'
Full of smiles
Always frontin'
Hate it when we give 'em
Nothin'

History made
We headin'
Nation that gave us nothin'
Made us hurt
Made us fight
Searchin'
Lookin' for a piece of that heaven;
Full of smiles
Always frontin'
Make me wanna stomp 'em

See it on every level
Massa forgotten
That devil
Still tryin' to rob
Embezzle
My community's achievements
Level
Then blame it on the ones
That settle;
Here 'em laugh
Know they frontin'
Won't be satisfied till we got
Nothin'

I could lift up my shoestrings
I could lift up all their dreams
I could get all them degrees
I could raise all my monies
Invent and save things
Precious to their fantasy
I could earn another ring
Trophies
I could sing in all the right keys
From the time I crawl
Till they bury me
They'll be huntin'
They'll be sweatin' me
Full of smiles
Always frontin'
Won't be satisfied
Till we got
Nothin'...
©2010cchristopherbess

Night Song #2

I don't care what you do
If you leave today
I don't care if your heart
Tells ya you should stay
Moving on without you
Seems a better way
Just know I'll love you
Until the end of days.

I remember a boy
Who asked for love
At first it was toys
Then it was an angel from above
And one day escape
But that just goes to say
Maybe dreams of his youth
Became regrets of his maturity.

I don't care what you do
If you leave today
I don't care if your heart
Tells ya you should stay
Moving on without you
Seems a better way
Just know I'll love you
Until the end of days.

He ran into you
Along the way
To finding his soul
The place he'd want to stay;
With the love that you made
I guess it goes to say
The dreams of his youth
Became regrets of his maturity.

In matters of the heart
One cannot play
In matters of my love
What can I say?
Angels aren't meant to be bound
To this world in any way
As the dreams of my youth
(Too many times)
Became regrets of my maturity.

I don't care what you do
If you leave today
I don't care if your heart
Tells ya you should stay
Moving on without you
Seems the better way
Just know I'll love you
Until the end of days.
©2010cchristopherbess